Samson

After almost 11 years with us, our much loved "furface" left us....and took a huge part of our hearts with him. Even now as I write, although it is already three weeks today, the pain is still very fresh. Like anyone who has ever loved a pet, Samson was more than just a pet. He was family. Darryl and I adopted him from the animal shelter only a couple weeks after moving to Greenwood. The minute we picked him up and he layed his head on our arms, we were over the moon in love with him. I have always had pets, and was no stranger to losing them, but I don't think I could have anticipated the bond I would form with this chubby little ball of fur!
Samson travelled everywhere with Darryl and I. When we went camping, he slept between us in the sleeping bag, when we went canoeing or on a road trip,he was our navigator. He did puppy playdates, went to obedience classes and very quickly showed us that he was the perfect dog for our family. When the kids came along, he was so gentle with them. I know he probably felt a bit neglected at times, but he was never anything but patient and loving with them. And of course, when he realized they could give him treats, life was great! :)


This picture of Samson was taken the day we found out he had to have surgery to remove some stones from his bladder. He had been lethargic and appeared to be in some discomfort so I had taken him in for some tests to find out what was wrong. The surgery was expected to be routine, and all his bloodwork, etc found him to be an incredibly healthy dog, despite being 11 years old almost. No signs of arthritis or joint problems, no problems anticipated. Little did we know that this would be the start of a very horrible experience for our family.




In the days leading up to the surgery, he seemed fine. He was taking some pain meds but was acting like his usual self, maybe a bit slower but still alright. We got out a few times to enjoy the fall colors and fresh air. A walk in the woods just isn't right without a furry friend to keep you company. We have explored alot of trails over the years together.
The day of his surgery, I dropped him off at the vet's before heading to work. I had this gnawing feeling deep inside me that I tried to ignore. I felt uneasy but chalked it up to just being a worrier. It was a routine surgery and nobody was expecting any problems. Later in the day, his surgery was finished, I was told it had gone well. Some stones had moved into his urethra so there was more cutting required, but he was resting comfortably and would stay the night. The next day, he was getting up and moving around. When I came to get him, he went outside and peed for them and showed he was good to go. So with pills in hand and post-op instructions, I took Samson home. That was Saturday, October 17th. He came home, was drinking and getting outside to pee, ate a teeny bit but needed lots of convincing to take his pills. Sunday he was still not eating and resisting his medication. Knowing how much he had been through and how much pain he was in, I was not surprised. Sunday I actually called the on-call vet to let them know he seemed to be very uncomfortable. She gave him some extra pain meds and something to coat his tummy and hopefully increase his appetite. The next day, Monday, I brought him in after work because I was concerned that he was not eating still. The vet there told me not to worry as long as he was drinking and peeing. I knew that the pills said to be taken with food but I trusted the vet knew best so we left. Over the next couple days, I continued to force the medicine into him, as well as a bit of food. On Thursday I came home from work and found that he had gotten sick. It was just liquids and I suspected the pills were probably upsetting his tummy. Friday while I was at work, he got sick again. I took him into the vet again that day and Sarah was the doctor on staff. She was quite concerned because he was not eating and the meds are quite hard on the organs. I told her that I had expressed that concern days before but was never told that. I think my heart dropped into my stomach at that point.....
She told me to stop giving him those pills for the time being and just to give him the stomach coating drops. She gave him some extra fluids and that seemed to perk him up. I took him home. I slept on the couch again that night. I woke up sometime in the early hours to the sound of his nails scratching on the floor. After several minutes of this I realized that he was trying to stand up but couldn't. His back legs weren't working. I was devastated! The last time one of our pets wasn't able to stand up, it turned out to be kidney failure and she had to be put down. I called the vet and woke Darryl up. The doctor was on call in Middleton so that is where Darryl brought him. I was sick, not knowing if Samson would come home again. When the kids woke up a while later, they were quite upset to see that Samson was not there. Darryl returned a while later without Samson. Sarah was keeping him in the hospital for the weekend to get some fluids into him. He was severely dehydrated, even though he was drinking. His creatine and enzyme levels were way higher than they should have been, showing that his kidneys were not functioning the way they should. All the water was pooling in his kidneys instead of being circulated through his systems. He was a very sick dog apparently. We spent the next couple days worrying and praying. Monday I went out to see him. They had managed to get him to eat, chicken and rice, but he would not pee while on leash. So I went out Monday afternoon and spent some time with him. He was soooo happy to see me! He got tangled up in his iv tubes in his excitement to see me. He had lots of kisses and head rubs for me...it made me hopeful that he would be alright. We went outside and I took him off the leash. Of course he peed almost immediately and things seemed good. I spent some more time with him back inside. I watched him eat, and take his pills from the assistant. I laid on his doggy bed with him and he cuddled into me like he always does. I stayed with him til 6, but then had to leave because they were closing. We had gone outside again before I left and he kept trying to go towards the car. I knew he wanted to come home but he had to stay another night.
So after lots of hugs and head rubs, I promised to come get him the next day.
The next day, when the kids got off the bus, we headed out right away to pick him up. He looked happy and anxious to get going. We brought him home, he ate a nice chicken dinner, and rested comfortably for the rest of the evening. He took his pills relatively easily and our hopes for a full recovery grew. That was Tuesday the 27th.
The next morning, he was not interested in the chicken and only ate a few pieces. The pills were a bit of a struggle again but I got it into him. We went off to school but my mind was not on work. That evening, he ate a large portion of chicken and continued to drink lots of water. We were so happy to see him eat that we were more than happy to cook up chicken for him. But a short time later, he threw it up. That horrible, unsettled feeling came back. I knew in my heart that we couldn't pay 500 every weekend to have him in hospital. All my fears were coming true, a voice inside me told me we were losing him, and I was heartbroken. Later that night, he actually walked upstairs for the first time in a couple weeks. He layed his chin on the bed and just looked at us. Darryl picked him up and layed him on the bed. Samson curled into me and went to sleep, just like old times. The next day was Thursday the 29th. I decided not to fight with him to take his pills but I got him to drink some water. He just sniffed at the food I offered him. There was a look in his eyes that hadn't been there before. The sparkle wasn't there, it was easy to see that something was going terribly wrong. I left for work, just hoping to make it through the day.
After work, I brought Samson in to the vet AGAIN. They ran more bloodwork while I waited in the lobby. It was everything I could do not to break down and cry. I was trying to think positively but I knew in my heart that this was not going to end the way we wanted. When the vet called me back into the room, I knew right away by the look on her face, that the news was not good. She told me that the enzymes and creatine levels were way up again. His kidneys were failing and that the only treatment would be dialysis. I listened to her tell me that they could do the dialysis but his kidneys were not going to ever be able to recover. They were barely functioning, blah, blah, blah......Samson had an infection last year and maybe that affected his kidneys and they didn't realize. Blah, blah, blah.
I left the hospital in tears with Samson, not knowing how I was going to tell the kids. Samson and I went for a drive. I got him a burger at MacDonalds, a very rare treat for him, but he didn't even look at it. I begged him to take it, to show me some sign that there was still some fight left in him, but he didn't. We went for a walk at the duck pond, I just couldn't believe this was the last time we would be out exploring together. We sat by the bench, I sat on the ground with him, and just watched the ducks and people pass by. I cried many tears, not wanting to leave but knowing that we had to go home.
When we got home it was past supper time. I told the kids that he had been back to the vet and that Samson was still pretty sick. We kind of left it at that and went about our evening. We had a family cuddle together on our bed, Darryl and I and the kids...and Samson. I couldn't tell them that this was the last time they would see him. Darryl knew, but for several reasons we decided not to tell Cailyn and Logan. So after they went to bed, Darryl and I spent a bit more time with Samson. The time to take him back to the vet crept closer and closer, until we had no choice. With broken hearts, we took Samson back downstairs and I put his leash on him for the last time.
Darryl brought him to the vet and stayed with him until it was done. I sat on the couch in the dark, and cried. Like I have never cried before. Darryl said when he got home that it was so hard leaving him there. He knew that Samson's heart stopped beating and he was finally at peace, but he kept hoping for Samson to open his eyes or bark, or something......
The next morning we told the kids, and they were devastated of course. These days since have been a roller coaster of emotions. Some days are better than others. I have doing ok, but being at home these past two weeks with the flu has been painful. It is just a reminder to me that he is gone. Time hasn't made it easier yet, just makes us miss him even more. It is still hard to believe he isn't here, it feels like maybe he is just in another room napping.
Donna says it perfectly....Blah!
I know it will get easier but right now it still hurts. I just have to keep believing in my heart that there is a place in Heaven for pets.....
We miss you Samson and love you xoxo